i'm just telling you what i heard

greece is maybe not the place to be a twenty-something struggling to establish a secure, grown-ass woman identity for herself. it is not a place where someone can think to themselves in response to a conflict "it doesn't matter what they say or think because i know what happened." it's very much a place where what people hear and what assumptions they make about what happened, did happen.
there is a huge, legitimate concern with what others think of you all the time, and this does not just apply to semi-incompetent blonde americans making futile attempts to blend in; it applies to literally everyone within greek society. there's a bizarre sort of paranoia that sets in when you realize that everyone in your neighborhood knows who you are by sight and possibly name already, without you ever having set eyes on them. this makes the process of acclimating and adjusting to social norms all the more vital to functioning within athens. any faux pas is publicized by word of mouth before you have a chance to apologize or react. the flustered but nice people of cya have warned us this would happen, but when it finally hits you that your every move will be noted by greeks passing by, it's totally unsettling.
at the same time, there's only so much impact this whispered mean-mugging can have on us. we're only here for four months, we don't have parents here that will die of shame if we go out in sixty degree weather without a big mama coat on (you would legit think it was 23 degrees here... greeks dress for the season, not the daily weather... i can only assume they're sweating their tits off) and we don't have a ya-ya who will receive a scathing phone call if we accidentally invite attention from an unsuitable greek manfriend. but it's hard not to feel paralyzed by these things... i desperately need to go for a run to feel ok, but no one runs outside here, and if they do, it is for damn sure not in underarmour spandex shorts... whateva, i'm going to give it a go this afternoon, hopefully it will be fine.
on another note, i maybe have been flipping off motorists this whole time? apparently you're not supposed to raise your palm at people, which i do when a car or moped lets me walk in front of them (this happens rarely... if i die in greece, this is probably what did me in) so.... good. my neighbors can can add that to my file.
ooh and finally, i don't know who has been calling me because when calls come from the u.s. to that virtual number, it just says Unknown Number, so if you call and i don't answer or call you back, um just call again later because i don't know how to check my messages yet... splendid.

love love love,
kg